Morosing Mary
by Krimzonrayne
Summary: Mary Sue is created, and everyone love her. She save the world, marry the protagonist and they live happily every after... yeah right, not on my watch... Oh and Ranma? prepare to meet a girl who DOESN'T want you to love her.


Morosing Mary, by Krimzonrayne, the avatar of blood-god

Disclaimer: Don't own Ranma ½ or any other manga/anime mentioned.

Author's note: This fic is written in with anger, emo-musics and pockys. Lots of pockys. The idea occurs when I read YET another fanfic with Mary Sue. Now let me be the first to say this but I don't hate Mary Sue. In fact I kinda like them but... there's a line. A line which lies somewhere between Uber power-ups and spending paragraphs describing his/her clothings and too many people cross them with little or no apparent reasons.

YES, THIS IS A REPOST, IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS TITLE BEFORE DON'T READ IT

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"What are you doing?" Ameno Kurenai asked her brother who was giggling intensely at the computer screen. The boy spun around in his lazy boy and stared at his sister through half lidded eyes. How the heck did she do that? He should've heard her coming miles away.

"Nothing Sis, just reading some fanfics." He said evasively, turning back to the screen and changing to the one where he was reading a Black Dragon's fic.

If his sister caught him reading Josh Temple fic, she'll never let him forget it. Of course there was nothing wrong with Josh's fic except that most of them involve turning Ranma into a senshi. Now that in itself wasn't a problem, the problem is he was supposed to hate Sailor moon.

It wasn't that he was afraid of being tease or something like that but if she knew who scratched her third season VCD….

"Lemme see!" The girl said, hopping onto the Lazy boy (Not me, you smarty pants, the chair) gracefully. The boy sighed and scooted over so his sister could get a better perch on their seat. They continued reading the one that was on the screen until there were no more chapters to be read. It was roughly ten minutes later when they finally recovered from laughing their lungs out. There was still plenty of time left before dinner so they decided to browse for another one.

"Hey Shin, click that one." Kurenai said pointing at a random fanfic.

"Okay." Shinku replied.

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Ameno Shinku padded silently into the living room. He stared dejectedly out the window and noticed, with a great sigh, that it was still NOT raining outside. He plodded down into his Lazy-boy and pushed the start button on his computer. He stared at the projector as it stood there still black and refused to be turned on. The boy blinked twice and with the use his awesome brain power, quickly deduced that the switch at the wall was off.

Click.

It was now on. The boy tapped his finger impatiently as he waited for the computer to load. Finally, after what seems like an eternity later he'd opened the Microsoft words and was typing away one his keyboard. Then he stopped. He read back over what he'd just written and sighed. It was dark, almost Dragon Slave-dark dark. It was along the line of 'I woke up one day and everyone I knew are dead dark'. He sighed and called up his task manager to open his download program. It was bit torrent, but more importantly, it wasn't working. He stared at the screen and began to fume silently. This continues for about a minute before the boy manage to calm himself and walked outside into his garden.

The dark haired boy stared out into the horizon with almost trance-like tranquility. Then, as if by some arcane signal, the boy's body burst into action. Punches and kicks were thrown at almost random frequency forming a chaotic and hypnotic dance. Shinku finished his opening kata in records time and without missing a step, launched straight into his offensive one. This continued for almost half an hour before the boy slumped against the lone tree that stood in his garden. He panted loudly feeling elated for pushing himself further than he'd normally do. Sometime it felt good to just work yourself to near exhaustion. It's nice to work so hard that his body doesn't concentrate on anything simply because it couldn't. But he knew it wouldn't last.

And it didn't. Soon, sooner than he'd liked it to be but not sooner than he'd expected, he was back to thinking about his life, his straight A pluses and his all-planned-out future and career in medicine. His god-damned perfect life.

Crack!

Shinku stared dazedly at his hand and finally at the hole he'd just punch in the fence. He sighed again before getting up and walked back into the house. Prodding the back of his hand to make sure it was lonely bruised and not damaged, the boy walked the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a handful of ice pressing it against his sore knuckles. Sure the skin was a little raw but it was nothing like the first time he'd punched a concrete wall.

"heh, Ranma probably would've punched right through it." Shinku said out loud, thinking about his favorite manga character with a slight chuckle. But his smile was quick in disappearing as he was once again reminded of how much his life sucks.

"Man I wish there really is some kind of goddess helpline out there, my life could use a make over right now." He mumbled. Thinking that he had nothing to lose, he walked over to the phone and punched in a random number.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Shinku sighed, it was too much to ask anyway. He turned around and jumped out of his skin in fright. Behind him was Belldandy!.

"You're here to grant me a wish right?" The boy asked enthusiastically.

"No Shinku-kun. I'm afraid you were not qualified for a wish."

"Oh, I guess it WAS too much to ask... Hey wait you said were, does that mean I am now?" Shinku asked again. Noticing the sad expression on her face, he assumed that it was not the case.

"Mmm... I guess not, so... em can I get you a coffee or tea or something?"

"Thank you Shinku-kun but I'm afraid I have terrible news for you. I'm here to collect you soul." Belldandy said her eyes almost brimming with tears. The news hit Shinku like a ten tons hammer then he looked into the goddess's eyes and suddenly his problem didn't seem quite so dire anymore.

"It's okay, Belldandy eh sama, anyway it's ok. I mean my life wasn't that great anyway right?" Shinku said placidly with all the skill of a teenager with non-existence dating experience trying to calm down a crying girl. This however, only caused her to cry even harder.

"Mm... so how did I die?"

"You slipped on a banana peel and hit your head on the kitchen counter."

Shinku stared at her then turned ever so slowly around. There he was lying in a on the kitchen floor just like the goddess had said, a small pool of blood slowly blossoming out from beneath his prone form.

'Wow, I didn't know people bleed that fast from a head wound!' The boy thought shaking his head sadly, 'Man, what a stupid way to go.'

"Yes, it truly was tragic. I mean you don't even eat bananas." The goddess said empathically.

"Yeah." The boy said nodding along. "Hey, I if I don't eat banana then where did the banana peel came from?

"Eh… that's not important…. Oh look at the time, it is best that we hurry Shinku-kun, the demons could be here any seconds now." Belldandy said.

"Hold up, aren't I suppose to go to whichever side according to whether I've been good or bad?" Shinku asked, now fully confused.

"Eh… no good and evil is simply 2 opposing sides, we thought "Good" sounded…well… good so we picked it while Evil was being clever and calling themselves "LIVE" backward, thus "EVIL". It completely backfired." The goddess explained, sounding a bit smug about something while Shinku just sweat-dropped.

"…How did it backfire?" Shinku said meekly. Almost as if he was afraid of what he'd hear.

"Well, everyone completely missed it. I mean with the whole, 'you're now dead, come with one of us' thing, no body really give a thought about whether evil is live backward or that FISH is actually an acronym or stuff like that." Belldandy said, smiling openly now. "Beside, our color scheme helps a lot. It also doesn't hurt that our cloths are magical, otherwise I presume Kami-sama probably ordered everyone to wear black like the demons. I mean, do you have any idea how easy this stuff get dirty?"

The teenager was going to face-faulted but decided at the last second. What, with him being dead and all he probably would've gone right through the floor.

"Mmm… so you're saying that there's essentially no different between Heaven and Hell? And that if I'd want to, going to Hell is perfectly fine?" Shinku asked trying to change the topic. Not a lot of things in life could faze him but smirking and chuckling Belldandy was definitely freaking him out. "So I guess it's alright if I wait for the demons to arrive… so I could… you know… hear the other side of the story and all that..."

His voice started to trail off as Belldandy's attitude changes visibly in front of his eyes. She had her hands held together in front of her bosoms and began advancing on him. The boy slowly backed away, cringing at the look on the goddess face.

"H…how could you say such a thing. Heaven is …is… Heaven how can you even think of choosing Hell over Heaven." She stuttered almost as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment.

"But… you said that…well... I mean…" The boy said as he felt his back hit a wall. Crap he's cornered. He turned around and covered his eyes just in time to deflect most of the damage. Damn he needs a defense against that puppy-dog eye technique otherwise he's done for.

"I…I… t…thought you'd understand." Belldandy whispered her eyes now brimming with tears. Her soft strawberry-colored bottom lip quivering ever so slightly … Damn it don't look, you idiot. Don't look!

"STOP!" A distinctively feminine voice cried out. "I though we agreed not to use that technique when we're collecting soul!"

Shinku peeked out from between his fingers. In front of him stood, or rather, float a woman clad in pitch black skin tight body suit. Atop her head stood a pair of bat-like wings that seems to peek out from he brown hair. Her face was almost angelic in beauty. Her face, even though held a scowl was radian…

"KASUMI!" Shinku yelled.

The girl in question spun around to face him, her face held a serene smile that made him wondered why he didn't notice her earlier.

"Yes, Shinku-kun?"

"You're a demon?"

Nod.

"But… HOW? WHERE? WHEN? WHY?" The boy was flabbergasted, and he didn't even know what the word means.

"Let see, I signed contact with the current Satan, Yuigi-sama. In Hell. About a year ago. Because I wanted something to do before I'm reborn."

"But why a demon?" Shinku asked slowly, trying not to yell. This doesn't make any sense, Kasumi can't be a demon.

"Because it's awfully naughty! Plus my soul collector was a great persuader." Kasumi answered making a 'V' with her hand while giggling madly.

'This is crazy, what's next? They start a cat fight?' Shinku wondered in what he thought was the privacy of his own mind.

"Oh I can do that too!" Reading his mind, Kasumi chirped brightly before advancing toward the stunned goddess.

"What is it? ...Hey you can't do that!"

"Watch me!"

"Hey watch the cloths!"

"Oh I'm sorry. Here let me rip the other side too, that way it'll look like you wear it like that on purpose!"

"That's it I've had enough. You're going to pay for that one, and my reputation be damn!"

"Owieee, I didn't know you could slap like that! …and I didn't know you're so… big…"

"It's the robe, it does kind of hide my figure!"

Shinku noses bleed profusely, his blood ran down to join with the widening pool below his feet… or where his feet used to be, ahh not having feet sucks!

"Ahhh I can't take this anymore" Shinku screamed before running/floating away from the goddess and the demon. With his brain overloaded with the events of the last thirty minutes, his non-existence foot slipped on his pool of blood.

"Shinku-kun!" The fighting pair yelled as they dove after the falling boy.

The said boy hit the floor and as he'd predicted fell right through. The pair turned to each other before descending into the floor after the boy.

And they popped right back up.

"Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?" Belldandy yelled, shaking her demonic friend back and forth like a rag doll. The demon girl phased out of the goddess's grasp and shook her head dazedly. She regained her bearing and snapped at the anxious Goddess who was chewing on her fingernails.

"Stop that Bell. Now calm down, I'm going to call Yuigi-sama and ask whether he's there or not. You try calling your Boss as well." Kasumi said, pulling out her snazzy, jet-black Nokia ZX 901.4995 times 10 the power of 42. She opened it with an audible snap and press speed dial 2.

"Moshi Moshi Yuigi-sama,…No…What! I didn't know that's possible… Okay, Sayounara Yuigi-sama." The demon slipped her cell-phone back into her pocket-dimension, her face held a scowl.

"What is it Kas-chan?" Belldandy asked, sounding a bit nervous as she stares at her normally cheerful friend.

"Shinku-kun is no longer dead." Kasumi said slowly, chewing on her lower lip.

"What do you mean he's no longer dead? After half an hour resuscitation should be practically impossible."

"I don't know."

"….."

"……"

"…. So, now what?"

"Well, Yuigi-sama was practically drooling at the prospect of having Shinku and I'm pretty your Boss was as well, so I guess we go back and prepare for eons of guard duty…AFTER the paper work."

The pair groaned in perfect synchronization

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Being the creative person that he is, if Shinku were a martial artist of Ranma caliber, he'd have written a system on how to rate landings from great height. Thinking of how many times that has happened to Ranma, you could even make a sport out of it.

For example, landing on concrete would be right near the bottom. Not having Ranma's curse, landing in a fountain wouldn't be so bad either. Landing in a soft fluffy bed would be marvelous, it's too bad that landing on such object requires going through the roof and that usually hurts, especially when such landing often is head first.

Some landings however, can both rank high and low at the same time. Such landings are rare and more often than not involve defying several laws of physic.

Shinku, in direct defiance to law of probability, landed himself on such landing on his first time. He didn't land on concrete, or pond or even bed. No, he landed on breast.

Breasts actually, two well-rounded, bouncy and generously sized ones at that. The poor boy was in heaven, and thus giving the landing a high mark. He then looked up pass the two soft mounds that pillowed his head and into a pair of luminescence blue eyes.

"Hi, I'm Ameno Shinku. Mmm… where am I?" The teen mumbled through a mouthful of breast.

"I'm Saotome Ranma. And you are on my chest." came a flat reply.

"Eepp!" Shinku squealed and did a back flip landed him next to the door and away from the awkward position they were in. The red head stared at the dark haired boy, cautious but willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all she knows how it feels to be unfairly judged all too well curtsey of a certain uncute tomboy.

Shinku tried to consider the words that had just said to him as Ranma continues to stare but his mind was so jumbled up at the moment that no coherent thought can be form. So he decided to list it out... one by one…. in bullet points.

I'm in Ranma1/2 Universe, somehow.

I've just survived a thousand feet drops.

I'm just landed on Ranma's breast.

I've just did a double back flip, FROM LYING DOWN.

Lying on Ranma's breasts which were comfy and … bouncy…

Ranma narrowed her eyes as the boy in front of her nose-bleed in a highly exaggerated fashion. The red headed girl cracked her knuckles menacingly, another pervert huh? Well that's just fine with her, if there's one thing she has in common with her brown haired fiancée, it's the love for the game, 'Pound the Pervert'.

Boom! …And that's what makes the landing both good and bad.

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Shinku found himself air bound once again, something which he found himself doing increasingly more often.

What the hell! Increasingly more often? An hour ago, I was a normal, normal person who doesn't goes around breaking air-space boundary like Superman.

"I'm afraid you have to come with me, Shinku-kun" said a voice next to the flying boy.

The boy turned to the right and saw Belldandy flying along side him, her face contained a frown that seemed to make the world goes darker.

"Belldandy-chan!" The dark haired boy exclaimed "You have to help me; for some reason I'm in Ranma1/2 Universe…" Then he paused and mulled the sentence over in his mind.

"Hey! Hold on a sec, how come you are a goddess to begin with anyway! I mean, you're just a character from a manga. No different from Ranma and Tenchi and others."

Belldandy sweat dropped.

"This is just insane! I mean I was dead like ten minutes ago and now I'm flying from being punched by Ranma of all people, and I've been flying for," Shinku gestured at his watch, "…oh look, 5minutes now. I mean I'm not a physicist by any stretch but isn't that a tad… IMPOSSIBLE!"

Belldandy shrunk as Shinku's head grew bigger and completely overshadowed her with its size. She eepped and tried to back away but a certain physic law state that an object will continues to travel in it's original path but less it is acted upon by a force. She tried the Force of Humor, the Force of Irony and even the Ultimate Force. Not surprisingly none of them worked.

"And what's with Kasumi being a demon, I mean sure I've read the feel fan fictions out there that have Kasumi totting machineguns, Kasumi smoking cheap cigar and wielding Adamentium claws but this is REALITY and beside Kasumi doesn't even exist in my world." Shinku ranted/yelled at the terrified goddess who was looking more like a scared little girl. This is until she'd enough build up of a certain force she'd be using. She was sure it would work, this particular force never fails her before.

"Further more, this whole thing is ridiculous, I mean demon and goddess fighting over me! I mean the writer better not make me a part of some stupid prophecies or anything like that, that idea has been done to death." The was-dead-and-now-no-sure boy rambled on, completely oblivious to the imminent danger he was in. But you could say he had it coming, I mean building up of forces is pretty hard to notice but a furious girl glowing in brightly in a furious shade of red-ish corona? He must've been blind or something.

"AHHHH STOP WHINING. I KNOW ABOUT THIS FIC AS MUCH AS YOU DO." BELLDANDY SCREAMED, SLUGGING THE BOY WITH FORCE-OF-RIGHTEOUS-FEMALE-ANGER FILLED FIST.

"ITE!" Shinku screamed as he was sent plummeting to the ground at high speed. Along the way he complained about how much more painful being slugged in capital letters was compare to being hit in lower case.

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"Pass me the soy sauce will ya?" Ranma grumbled at the middle Tendo sister. Nabiki stared at the disgruntle red-head warily as she handed her, her desired object.

"What's with you? Is it that time of the month already?" The mercenary girl said tartly.

"Eepp" Ranma-chan squeaked "Don't even joke about that." The girl sighed wearily before answering the older girl's question. "Nothing Nabiki, just nather pervert in town."

"Oh, I see. Another prince from a magical kingdom from far away?"

"No idea, but with my luck he probably a king this time round."

"..."

"..."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What's he like? Is he tall, short? Handsome, ugly?" Nabiki said, sounding a bit frustrated. Sure it's awfully easy to pry information off Ranma, but the martial artist mental capacity (or the lack of) makes it a bit of a hassle every time she does it.

"Well he's around this tall..." The pig tailed girl said, holding her hand just above her head. "And he's butt ugly if you ask me."

"Duh, to you, every guy is unattractive. So what about his personality? Is he stuck up or humble? Is he stupid or smart?"

"I have no idea, I mean it's not like I've actually know the guy or anything."

"…."

"…."

"Ahhh this scene is going no where, cut to the main character or something!" Nabiki yelled out in frustration.

"But I'm the main character," Ranma-chan interjected. "I mean, the series is named after me for Fish-sake."

Nabiki stared at the pig tailed boy, 'figure he'd lose it sooner or later… Hey wait a minute what WAS I saying?'

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During his fall, Ameno Shinku suddenly had an epiphany, one of those moment where everything just become clear, and deduce that his name meant crimson. This line of thought lead to another line of thought which were along the line of, 'I'm going to be as red as my name in seconds'.

It was rather pessimistic thought, he reckoned, even by his standard. Why should he be pessimistic? It's not like his life's going to end soon or something…

Opss…Better think about something else.

'And what the hell was wrong with Belldandy anyway? I mean in 'Oh My Goddess' she was portrayed as the calm one. A lot of people even reckon she even LOOKS like Kasumi.

"WHAT!" a feminine cry of anger ranged out from behind the boy. "I look nothing like Belldandy! Nor vice versa for that matter."

"Ack!" Shinku yelled as he spun around and found himself face to face with Kasumi the demoness from earlier. "Did you just read my mind again?"

"Well no…" the curvaceous girl in mid-night black body-stocking began, "I've just read it from THIS." She finished, handing the boy a stack of papers.

Shinku took it and gave the demonic girl a confused look before flicking through it curiously. "What the hell!" He half-yelled in surprise before rereading the last paragraph again.

_**It was rather pessimistic thought, he reckoned, even by his standard. Why should he be pessimistic? It's not like his life's going to end soon or something… **_

_**Opss…Better think about something else. **_

'_**And what the hell was wrong with Belldandy anyway? I mean in 'Oh My Goddess' she was portrayed as the calm one. A lot of people even reckon she even LOOKS like Kasumi. **_

"…." Shinku stared blanking at last sheet of paper in the stack Kasumi gave him. It fell from his nerveless fingers as his mind fail to comprehend what exactly this turn of event means. "What's going on?" He looked up and asked his companion.

"Well I'm not supposed to tell you this…" The aspiring young author's face fell as he heard this. "… but as a Mary Sue-ish character of this story I suppose I could."

"Mary Sue-ish?"

"Yeah Mary-Sue, the kind of character that goes around fixing everything for the protagonist, usually a pretty girl who's really smart and really understanding as well."

"Wow, that sounded so..."

"Totally awesome?" Kasumi asked.

"Vain." Shinku dead-panned. "Egotistical, arrogant, boastful and down right narcissistic."

BANG!

"Oh my. I'm so sorry, my hand must've slip because I'd never hurt someone like that on purpose. In fact, it's against my character to do so." The home maker said as she leaned down to pick up the shopping basket from the boy's head.

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Ameno Shinku walked slowly down the road, because it was simply too much effort to walk quickly up one. He was having a great day. He was now in Ranma ½ because one of the Higher Level of Being decided that he would be a crucial element in the future of an original character or so Kasumi said. Anyway he couldn't complain, he was in one of his favorite manga/anime and if this meant what he thought it meant then he may have a chance to begin a new life!

Hmmm… that sounded a little too much like a Self Insertion, I got to be more careful.

He took out a can of soda from the plastic full of stuffs he'd just brought from the corner store and began sipping on it. The readers ignored the fact that he hasn't actually opened the can and watch on as he saw something from the corner of his eyes and started walking towards it.

"Waah" A soft and very fake crying sound effect rang out from beside the boy. He blinked and looked up from where he was ogling a shiny yen to see a pretty girl around his age crying softly in an alley. He weighed the chance of someone picking up the dropped change against helping a maiden in distress.

Deciding that the girl can wait another second or so, Shinku walked over to the coin, leaned down to pick it up and slipped it into his pocket. He then turned around and walked over to the girl with a sense of impending doom.

"Hello there. Are you alright miss, do you need a hand?" Shinku asked, tapping a finger on her shoulder. 'Of course she does, she's crying in an alley for Christ's sake. That's like the clichés, 'My-heart-is-broken-I-wanna-sing-sad-songs' kind of things to do.'

The trembling girl slowly turned toward him, radiating sniffles and tears as she did so. She lifted her head up in such a way that the light seemed to reflect off her just-right complexion and flawless skin and smiled shyly at him. Again, with a set of pearly white teeth and full pouting lips and go oh-so-well with her teary blue eyes.

Shinku did a double take and quickly turned away, muttering something which sounded suspiciously like 'not another one of them'. The boy reached into his plastic bag of goods and pulled out a pair of… sun glasses. He promptly put them on even though the sun wasn't out.

"Aha, that's better." He said after taking another look at the presently depressed but still amazingly radiant girl. The sun glasses weren't perfect but they did block out the worst of the glare. "Now, tell me your name and what's wrong."

"Well, my name is Maree-Anne Suesanette LuDeer Windgate the fourth, of the Left Quadrant Timelines but my friend calls me Mary Sue."

"Oh dear."

"No kind sir, it is LuDeer not O'Deer." The girl interjected softly in her ever-so-helpful-and-you-can't-do without tone.

"Like I said, oh dear." The young author grumbled. "So, do you want to tell me what got you so down? I mean you ARE Mary Sue right? Isn't life suppose to be perfect for you?"

"Well, today started out quite perfectly but it has gone terribly wrong and now.. now I feel that life isn't FAIR"

'Yeah yeah welcome to my life' Shinku thought but what he actually said was, "Please elaborate"

"Well I woke up to a perfect sun rise. I made my bed perfectly neat and tidy and I had a perfect shower. After a long perfect soak in the furo, I cook myself a perfect breakfast and left for work home to go to work perfectly on time. But…"

"Hold on!" The boy said, putting up a hand to cut her off. He reached into his plastic back once again and pulled out a foldable chair. He snapped it opened and sat on it. "Thank you, you can continue if you want. I found you story absolutely fascinating." He said sacastically, sipping on his can of soda.

"Okay" The girl chirped obliviously and began her story with no less enthusiasm than before. "I arrived perfectly on time and I did the scene but then…" Her lips quivered as she got to this point.

"Go on." Shinku said encouragingly while he pulled out another object, this one from his pocket. It was an Ipod.

'Let see…'

'…Move along, no.'

'…Your song, no.'

'… Just shoot me, ah… perfect.'

And so the boy settle back and listen as the girl told her tale of sorrow and pain in life of a Mary Sue.

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A beautiful girl had just walked into the Great Hall at the beginning-of-year feast. The entire hall went silent as she walked to the front; her perfect figure was as perfect as always, her golden hair bounced on her shoulders, and her perfect blue eyes sparkled.

"Look," whispered Harry, his eyes sparkled with affection. "Isn't she… perfect?"

Ron could only nod as he wasn't fairing any better than the bespectacled boy. His past experience with Vela's charm didn't seem to help him any and he was drooling and falling in love with the newcomer like his best friend.

In fact, all the boys in the hall had fallen in love with the girl.

Professor Dumbledore walked up to her, not caring whether it was a breach of tradition, and placed the sorting had on her head and it stuttered out, "G..Gryffindor", turning a shade of red. Blushing sorting hat? This is going over the line but then again she's a MS.

"Never before, have I felt such splendor,

Oh what a merry year we have begun!

Why, how can I describe this feeling?

The soft golden l…"

"Ah Miss Monique Ravensinger, I presume?" Dumbledore asked politely, cutting off the singing hat's song. It was just as well, the song never really foreshadows anything anyway, and this year's song was particularly bad.

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore. My mother, the queen of Morinland, send her regard." The girl concurred, bowing deeply to the aged wizard.

BOOM!

Suddenly, the door burst opened with a thunderous boom. Behind it was an enormous club wielding troll!

"Oh no, what ever shall we do?" Ron said slowly, as if reading from a script.

"Don't worry Ron, I'll save you!" Harry yelled, pulling out his wand as he ran toward the lumbering beast. The red haired boy beamed at his friend's courage, facing a troll to save a friend.

Well, saving a friend was partly why most Harry was subduing the monster but mostly it was because he wanted to look good in front of his golden haired goddess. She who was about five feet, wearing a white button down shirt with lace around the collar with gold-spun hair braided in a elaborate style and penetrating green eyes that were just too cute to look at. She, who look oh-so-divine with an animal of indeterminate origins resting atop her shoulder…,

Blam!

Harry ran into a wall.

"CUT! CUT! CUT!" The director yelled from across the hall. He hopped down from the five foot high camera-setup in an attempt to impress his young actor but failed miserably by falling over and landed on his prominent rear.

"Are you okay Mister Director?" Mary Sue who was playing the role of Monique asked, offering the bald man a hand. He blinked, the girl some how ran across the set and was helping him up before his lackey could? What a sweet girl she's. He considered letting her help him up just so he can touch her hand but then again, he must act macho otherwise all the girl will ever does was felt sorry for him. He didn't want pity he wants to get into her (NC-17) and do the (NC-17) with her, and may be (NC-17) too.

"Everybody, take five." The director said, hopping up. He turned to crumbled form of his protagonist and shook his head in dismay. "And for Christ's sake, would someone take him to the infirmary?" He turned back to the girl beside him and offered her his best non-leering grin. "Now, while we're on the subject of taking break, would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?"

"Hey you can't do that! I was going to ask her the same thing." Ronald yelled, dropping the unconscious Harry onto the floor to shake an angry fist his employer.

"You snooze you lose punk!" The director yelled right back.

"Why you!" The boy growled pulling out his wand as he did so.

The whole scene degraded into one massive fight with Harry mumbling in his sleep on the background.

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"And then it happened again at this Naruto fanfic. And again at this Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic. And again, and again, and again..."

"Alright Alright, I get the point." Shinku said, putting up a hand to cut her off. "So you feel bad that all the guys are fighting each other over you?"

"Yes." Ther girl said with a sniffle. The animal of indeterminate origin who was resting on top of her shoulder coed softly as if it was trying to consolidate the girl.

"Oh thank you, Cubit."

"Cubit?" The boy said questioningly, looking at the cute rabbit like animal. It turned to young writer and stared at him with its huge luminous blue eyes.

"Yes."

"No. He won't do at all!" The boy said grabbing the girl's pet and shucking it into a bin nearby. The thing screeched once before the lid slammed into its head render

"Wha… what are you doing, mister…?" Mary gasped in surprise as the boy began stripping her of her jewelry and putting them into his plastic bag.

"I'm giving you a make over so not everyone will go crazy over you anymore." Shinku explained as he continues to make the girl less grand and scruffier looking. He pulled a hair dressing kit and a chair from his plastic bag and placed them under the girl's cute butt.

"Aha how's that?" He asked, giving Mary a hand held mirror after he sprayed her hair with forty odd can of …something.

Mary looked into the mirror and gasped. Her hair was black!

"Now onto the subject of skill, what can you do?" The boy asked pleasantly, spraying more gunks onto his victim's hair. The elaborate French braid jumped up and screeched pitifully before settling into a plain looking mop top.

"Emm, I can use white magic, elf magic, holy magic, life magic and love magic. I can play forty two instrument, including harp. I can…" Mary stopped as she noticed the grim look on the boy's face. "Is that a bad thing?

"Well, yes. Being Uber powerful and all knowing does renders you magically attractive to a lot of people." Shinku said, "But don't worry though."

"We have done make over for God-like beings before with tremendously successful results, so don't you worry about a thing. In fact, have you heard about this boy, Ranma? He used to have the whole population falling for him, but that all changed after we helped him."

"You guys fixed all of his problems?" Mary asked, sounding a bit awed. From what she'd heard from her actor friends, the pig tailed boy supposedly live in a state perpetual chaos. His troublesome live is legendry even by their eccentricity-boosted standard.

"No, instead of having everyone chase after him, now only the girls do that. All the guys want to kill him, but he wasn't complaining the last time I heard."

"Wow… that is... very …good, I think." Mary said, resisting the urge to sweat drops.

"Oh I didn't deal with that case. It was my colleague, Rumi-chan. She was far better than I am."

'That was far better? I'm so doomed.' The girl thought.

"All done." The boy said, putting away his gear into the plastic bag. "Plain raven black hair, freckles, blemishes and minus one stupid animal of indeterminate origin."

Mary stared into the mirror, catatonic.

In a flash, he changed from a hairdresser's outfit into a surgical garb. Pulling out a foot long needle, he flashed the girl a smile that snapped her out off her trance in fear of survival. "Now all that's left is inoculating you with foot –in-mouth disease and you can be hated like normal people!"

"AHHHHH" The girl ran screaming down the road.

"Oh this is so much fun." Shinku said before pulling out a chainsaw and ran after the girl.

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The Ameno sibling stared at each other in shock.

'Someone has used my name in a fanfiction! What could this possibly mean?' Shinku thought.

"Nice one, Bro. You almost got me there" His sister said, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"I didn't write that, honest!" The boy protested. "Beside you were the one who picked it remember? How could I've planned that?"

"YOU GOT MAIL!"

The pair turned back to screen.

"Your e-mail alert is lame."

"Shuddup, just shuddup."

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I was in a funky mood when I started this, so please don't shoot me. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. This was originally a one-shot but it kept growing and so I decided add the last bit as a possible plot continuation.


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